500 words challenge, Writing

{Day 7} I Feel Like My Lungs Are Going to Explode Into Feathers & Words Tonight

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I’ve been using my words and my inner desires to figure out the person that I am right now and to create the person that I want to be in the near future. It’s not that those two personas are quite different. I think it’s like my current persona is in the puberty age, looking up to my future persona as her full-grown adult superhero.

I have passed the baby and the toddler stages. Those were the days when I learned how to write, how to blog, discovered other writers, appreciate and even envied a few, both living and dead. When I try to recall how I feel about my kiddie selves, I like my innocent scribbles during those times. I’ve written for myself, keeping all my thoughts a secret — both offline (notebooks, journals, password-protected Microsoft Word) and online (anonymous blogger).

That went on until I craved for recognition and interaction with regards to my writing. I wanted to be read. I wanted to be heard. I wanted people to slice my chest and take a look at what’s inside. I wanted to induce a reaction — mostly affirmation from them. So, I decided to come out in the blogosphere.

I took the first step.

I made a blogging mess obviously, writing about this and that, but consciously worrying of what people have to say about me or my thoughts. So I kind of filtered them. My high school honest, ethereal, dramatic writing faded on my current ink. I questioned myself on how evil of me to let that precious little writing pixie go.

Well, it’s just not me to blame. I took up engineering, trying to awaken the “smart and technical” side of my person because I always thought that I could be a better person if I could contribute like how the left-brainers of society do. I ended up being a test engineer, facing integrated circuits for breakfast, talking to them on coded words, on a level that they understand me.

I stayed in my company, you bet, but I couldn’t stop my fingers from hitting on the keyboard in an attempt to save my writer alter ego. So, after a brain-draining day, I would always write on my blog until I discovered that I could get paid for my writing. It was a prestige that I am not willing to keep to myself. I read more blogs, fished for more employees while keeping my day job. My personal blog transitioned into a Lifestyle and Finance blog. And I don’t know where to place

I have been writing, but I’ve been writing for somebody else. I longed for happy reliefs after a tiring heartfelt entry. I longed for writing for myself. I longed for writing and reading and reading more and writing more about what I have just read and reading more about writing. I longed for this kind of life.

I dream of this life while writing pieces (ie, e-mails) that I am not excited about. Okay, yeah, I often get lost in my thoughts in the office because I can no longer wait for the day when I can say that I’m giving up writing codes for writing on blogs. Repression breeds

Today may not be the day when my adult writer self should be awakened, but I can feel its faint breathing oh so close.

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Guides to Life, Writing

{Day 6} I Urge You to Have a Life Outside of Your Day Job

Before I go on with what I envisioned to be an eye-opener, hope-giving article, I would like to ask you one question. Are you truly, madly, passionately in love with your day job, the work-life balance it gives you, the monetary benefits you get from it, the social benefits that comes along with it and the co-workers you interact with everyday? If yes, you may skip this article. If not, the darling, by all means, proceed.

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job. If you feel so grumpy on mornings, especially on Monday mornings, that you literally drag yourself into the shower. If you just got in your office and wished it was 5pm already. If lunch is only the time when you are alive in the office. If you dread your boss and your job and you feel you can’t do work for another day anymore. If you keep on dreaming of leaving your current job and pulling up the wittiest I-resign video which you plan to upload on 9Gag.

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job. If you consistently shrug the feeling of guilt for not being there for your wife. Or husband. If you are becoming more intimate with your computer than with your loved ones. When your puppy’s happy, delighted mood is replaced by a sad barking moan when you just walk away after saying hi to him as soon as you got home. When you’d rather do overtime work on the weekends.When you have exactly no idea what your teenage child is doing in school. When you’re just completely unattached with a bunch of people whom you call family.

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job when you feel like you are supposed to have a different job, way way different from your current one. When you think that your college course was a huge mistake. When you feel like a trapped artist in a left-brainers’ world. If you feel like life is unfair because you cannot just do what you love to do. When you feel like changing career or planning on doing so.

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job when you can’t recall the last time you had fun with friends. When the only people you have been talking to were either clients, sponsors, customers, superiors, suppliers and co-workers. When you felt embarrassed that you didn’t know your closest friend already has a baby and you asked her whose baby was she carrying when you bumped into her while on your way to the bank. When the only connection that you have with your friends is Facebook.

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job because what will become of  you if right there and then you are stripped off of your day job title? Do you have other things that you can do to keep you busy? Will you still have friends that you can depend on, those who still really care? Do you have other means of acquiring income? How about your health? Did you get a personal long-term healthcare aside from the company health insurance?

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job because what if years have passed you by and life left you old? Can you still do the things that you wanted to do while you were young? Did you get to kiss in Paris or soak up some sun in the Philippines? Did you get to play that Ultimate Frisbee your office friends were raving about? Would you have adventures to tell your grandchildren aside from how  you managed to debug a test program during your working days?

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job because life is not revolving on our work alone even though it eats up a third of our day on all weekdays of our lives. We ought to see the world our Creator has made for us to enjoy. We have to nurture relationships and not just start-ups. We have dreams of our own that we have to work on.

I urge you to have a life outside of your day job. You just owe that one to yourself.

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500 words challenge, Writing

{Day 3} Selling Point

I grew up to be a quiet and quite a lady. I am an only child, usually independent and too hesitant to ask for help from others that I was used to do things by myself. Asking favors from others put me in an awkward light. Gawd, I hate doing those stuff that I made myself believe and swear that I am not going anywhere near the marketing industry. I would die of hunger if my work involves selling something. I think I’m going to make zero sales, one maybe the maximum when I ask my mother or one of my close friends to help me.

I managed to stick by that mentality and I ended up in the engineering industry. Yay, so I work on one project by myself, asking very very small help from others, giving in to others, making sure that I don’t make myself a burden to them like I do things quickly because others might be needing to use the equipment that I am using.

So this went on and on until a fellow Ultimate Frisbee player from work introduced me to financial freedom. He invited me to this talk where I have to listen how money works, why we need life insurance and how could I earn more. The first time I went there, I shrugged it off. I thought, oh, here goes another marketing scheme. But, I kind of didn’t take uhm Peter as a networking agent. Peter, let’s call him that. You know, the guy from work who invited me to this seminar.

That afternoon went straight into my boring weekend archives until he invited me to come listen to him again months after. This time, it was him who spoke about the same principles and the same concept. I didn’t know, but I suddenly got into it. I realized everything that he was talking about after a months of paying the healthcare of my mom. Apparently, all that money go to waste because, thankfully, my mom’s a healthy senior. But, I still buy her the short-term insurance that my company offer for its employees’ extended families. I then joined him in this group whose mission is to educate people of personal finance.

Picture us. Engineers who are happily exploring the world of insurances, life policies, credit, IPOs, mutual funds, stock markets and other thingamajigs. At first, I was dazed and confused and overwhelmed. There’s just too much to think about and to learn. But, then I slowly learned and through Peter, I began inviting people to come hear what we got to say.

One time, I swallowed my guts and think of the lives I can change just by inviting a few of my friends. I managed to invite a couple and they were ecstatic about the healthcare product that we suggest that they immediately asked for the forms to join our groups. And I was thinking that this could be the first sale of my life! And two at that! However, months passed (with our product, you have to decide fro months really) and the girl got pregnant and oh well, I failed to make a follow up. Peter was not around to encourage me to do it.

So I just let go first, slowly pulling back the thought that I am not really meant to be joining the marketing circle.

However, two MBA classes later, blogging offers and 2 payments into my healthcare premiums later, I noticed how influential I get when it comes to blogging and building passive income online. I talk about my blog all the time that my closest work mates created their own blogs and there was a time that we were all blogging our hearts out. I’ve also introduced some basic money making activities to them and they have earned a little somehow. Then, there was time when I went cube hopping and I chatted with a colleague about website building and there I go again, talking about my self-hosted website and the vision I have for it and the finance blog that I’ve put up with like-minded people. He got interested and told me he wanted to learn more about it and asked me if he could like earn money out of it. Of course, you would have predicted. I talked nonstop to him.

I may not have made my first sale in my entire existence, but I have managed to sell ideas to friends, myself (I remember marketing myself as a writer even though I am an engineer by profession) to this beauty company looking for a copywriter and my Motivation report in business school (Named as one of the two best reporters!).

Yes, so maybe I am changing. Maybe I am on the way towards my first sale of financial product that could help other people, not break their bank accounts. Maybe I just lack the confidence and passion on these things. Maybe, if I could bring the same energy that I have with blogging and writing, maybe I could help my fellow Filipinos in their finances. Maybe then I could find my niche. Maybe then I could people out. Maybe then I could teach them to earn more in order to give more.

To my future first sale, cheers.

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for Magpie Tales, Writing

A Thousand

88be8-poets

A thousand books to read,
the immortal classics,
how  society behaves on different stimuli feed
and the unending attempts of novels in defining love.

A thousand places to go see,
where Oscar Wilde grew,
where waves dance in the Caribbean Sea,
and where dust from the iconics were left on Abbey Road.

A thousand tastes to let linger,
of which honeybees made,
meat bursting with sapid ginger,
and velvety cupcakes I wouldn’t be too happy to fork through.

A thousand thoughts to write,
of what-if love stories,
silvering the mundane and the trite,
just stroking out the heart pulses on pads or paper.

A thousand reasons to skip sleep,
for the world is simply brimming
and start ups keep being nipped.
Oh, how sweet it would be if we could just do more.

*Written for the Magpie Tales

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for Magpie Tales, Writing

Magpie Mondays: Let Fear Not Be

painting by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

 

She knows no one in the bar; she just wanted to do something radical

and so, she danced with no music as if there was

and smiled to people staring as if she knew them.

Pretty soon, the band started playing offbeat melodies

and the crowd marched for the dance floor to join her.

— for life wasn’t given to us just so we could breathe. We were destined to live boldly.

 

She was created when the universe exploded and hence,

star dust must be in her bones.

She allows her star to shine its brightest white.

Her starlight beams upon me

Her stars dangles with mine.

— She is me, and I, her.

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