500 words challenge, Writing

{Day 7} I Feel Like My Lungs Are Going to Explode Into Feathers & Words Tonight

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I’ve been using my words and my inner desires to figure out the person that I am right now and to create the person that I want to be in the near future. It’s not that those two personas are quite different. I think it’s like my current persona is in the puberty age, looking up to my future persona as her full-grown adult superhero.

I have passed the baby and the toddler stages. Those were the days when I learned how to write, how to blog, discovered other writers, appreciate and even envied a few, both living and dead. When I try to recall how I feel about my kiddie selves, I like my innocent scribbles during those times. I’ve written for myself, keeping all my thoughts a secret — both offline (notebooks, journals, password-protected Microsoft Word) and online (anonymous blogger).

That went on until I craved for recognition and interaction with regards to my writing. I wanted to be read. I wanted to be heard. I wanted people to slice my chest and take a look at what’s inside. I wanted to induce a reaction — mostly affirmation from them. So, I decided to come out in the blogosphere.

I took the first step.

I made a blogging mess obviously, writing about this and that, but consciously worrying of what people have to say about me or my thoughts. So I kind of filtered them. My high school honest, ethereal, dramatic writing faded on my current ink. I questioned myself on how evil of me to let that precious little writing pixie go.

Well, it’s just not me to blame. I took up engineering, trying to awaken the “smart and technical” side of my person because I always thought that I could be a better person if I could contribute like how the left-brainers of society do. I ended up being a test engineer, facing integrated circuits for breakfast, talking to them on coded words, on a level that they understand me.

I stayed in my company, you bet, but I couldn’t stop my fingers from hitting on the keyboard in an attempt to save my writer alter ego. So, after a brain-draining day, I would always write on my blog until I discovered that I could get paid for my writing. It was a prestige that I am not willing to keep to myself. I read more blogs, fished for more employees while keeping my day job. My personal blog transitioned into a Lifestyle and Finance blog. And I don’t know where to place

I have been writing, but I’ve been writing for somebody else. I longed for happy reliefs after a tiring heartfelt entry. I longed for writing for myself. I longed for writing and reading and reading more and writing more about what I have just read and reading more about writing. I longed for this kind of life.

I dream of this life while writing pieces (ie, e-mails) that I am not excited about. Okay, yeah, I often get lost in my thoughts in the office because I can no longer wait for the day when I can say that I’m giving up writing codes for writing on blogs. Repression breeds

Today may not be the day when my adult writer self should be awakened, but I can feel its faint breathing oh so close.

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One liners, Writing

Tweet Tweets: April 1st half 2014

So because going back to old twitter posts is some kind of difficult, I am to compile my best tweets. Of course, they’re judged by me, nonetheless.

 

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500 words challenge, Writing

{Day 3} Selling Point

I grew up to be a quiet and quite a lady. I am an only child, usually independent and too hesitant to ask for help from others that I was used to do things by myself. Asking favors from others put me in an awkward light. Gawd, I hate doing those stuff that I made myself believe and swear that I am not going anywhere near the marketing industry. I would die of hunger if my work involves selling something. I think I’m going to make zero sales, one maybe the maximum when I ask my mother or one of my close friends to help me.

I managed to stick by that mentality and I ended up in the engineering industry. Yay, so I work on one project by myself, asking very very small help from others, giving in to others, making sure that I don’t make myself a burden to them like I do things quickly because others might be needing to use the equipment that I am using.

So this went on and on until a fellow Ultimate Frisbee player from work introduced me to financial freedom. He invited me to this talk where I have to listen how money works, why we need life insurance and how could I earn more. The first time I went there, I shrugged it off. I thought, oh, here goes another marketing scheme. But, I kind of didn’t take uhm Peter as a networking agent. Peter, let’s call him that. You know, the guy from work who invited me to this seminar.

That afternoon went straight into my boring weekend archives until he invited me to come listen to him again months after. This time, it was him who spoke about the same principles and the same concept. I didn’t know, but I suddenly got into it. I realized everything that he was talking about after a months of paying the healthcare of my mom. Apparently, all that money go to waste because, thankfully, my mom’s a healthy senior. But, I still buy her the short-term insurance that my company offer for its employees’ extended families. I then joined him in this group whose mission is to educate people of personal finance.

Picture us. Engineers who are happily exploring the world of insurances, life policies, credit, IPOs, mutual funds, stock markets and other thingamajigs. At first, I was dazed and confused and overwhelmed. There’s just too much to think about and to learn. But, then I slowly learned and through Peter, I began inviting people to come hear what we got to say.

One time, I swallowed my guts and think of the lives I can change just by inviting a few of my friends. I managed to invite a couple and they were ecstatic about the healthcare product that we suggest that they immediately asked for the forms to join our groups. And I was thinking that this could be the first sale of my life! And two at that! However, months passed (with our product, you have to decide fro months really) and the girl got pregnant and oh well, I failed to make a follow up. Peter was not around to encourage me to do it.

So I just let go first, slowly pulling back the thought that I am not really meant to be joining the marketing circle.

However, two MBA classes later, blogging offers and 2 payments into my healthcare premiums later, I noticed how influential I get when it comes to blogging and building passive income online. I talk about my blog all the time that my closest work mates created their own blogs and there was a time that we were all blogging our hearts out. I’ve also introduced some basic money making activities to them and they have earned a little somehow. Then, there was time when I went cube hopping and I chatted with a colleague about website building and there I go again, talking about my self-hosted website and the vision I have for it and the finance blog that I’ve put up with like-minded people. He got interested and told me he wanted to learn more about it and asked me if he could like earn money out of it. Of course, you would have predicted. I talked nonstop to him.

I may not have made my first sale in my entire existence, but I have managed to sell ideas to friends, myself (I remember marketing myself as a writer even though I am an engineer by profession) to this beauty company looking for a copywriter and my Motivation report in business school (Named as one of the two best reporters!).

Yes, so maybe I am changing. Maybe I am on the way towards my first sale of financial product that could help other people, not break their bank accounts. Maybe I just lack the confidence and passion on these things. Maybe, if I could bring the same energy that I have with blogging and writing, maybe I could help my fellow Filipinos in their finances. Maybe then I could find my niche. Maybe then I could people out. Maybe then I could teach them to earn more in order to give more.

To my future first sale, cheers.

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500 words challenge, Writing

{Day 1} The Write Commitment

Define writing. 

— something I love

Define commitment.

— something I sort of loathe

Define ‘The Write Commitment’

— something far too lovely for me to loathe

So by now, you probably have an idea on how I feel about this challenge. Just like every other people. On challenges. I would do things that I hate so that I could achieve something that I want or I desire or love. In my case, it’s just clashing responsibilities and priorities which make me kind of I’ll-comply-though-I’m-tired attitude with this Write Commitment. I mean, I absolutely love free writing, but hey I have a day job and some creative writing sidelines which I need to have a second stream of income.

So, why have I signed up for the 500 words challenge?

Sometimes, I just want to write for myself. On my personal blog. On this blog, my literary poop tub. And our finance blog. And my online portfolio, but I think I just can’t. So maybe this is why I’ve joined the 500 words bandwagon. To help me help myself. To help me do the things that I love. Or maybe I am just taking much more things that I can actually can, but hey, I love to be able to do things that I love. 

Do I swear, really really swear to finish the 500 words challenge?

Yes, I do! Really, really do. As my co-internet-frenzy writer friend told me, I should do some CPR on my blogs. Because I want my writing to be heard. And talked about. And linked to. You know, that kind of stuff. And, besides, Jeff says I could skip a day. (Oh, so me, procrastinating eve before starting!) So, if I stick to my Write Commitment, I am about to through 31 days of pure writing. That would be a total bliss. Not to mention, productive.

Am I willing to be hard on myself and have expectations?

I’ll say yes. I have been missing my writing days so yes, I am going to encourage myself to go write everyday. Before I go to the shower. Before I sleep. Any time just as long as I am alone. I am usually pesky when someone talks to me while I am writing. My boyfriend can attest to that.

Yep, so back to my expectations. Here it goes:

Myself, I expect time-worthy blog pieces on your personal blog, literary blog, finance blog and the Finance Pinoy blog. I also expect you to make this time as a chance to go find prospects on which sites to write for. Take the plunge. Make it bigger. Online-preneurs have been coming to you without you reaching out to them first. I believe you could take heaps more if you begin to reach out to them. And most especially, I expect you to write helpful posts. Those that your readers will find inspiration from, find technical help from, gain financial wisdom from, and most especially, anchor God’s surprising love from. I know you have your tone and voice of writing developed by now. But, I know you could do so much much more. Build a blog that captures, darling.

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for Magpie Tales, Writing

A Thousand

88be8-poets

A thousand books to read,
the immortal classics,
how  society behaves on different stimuli feed
and the unending attempts of novels in defining love.

A thousand places to go see,
where Oscar Wilde grew,
where waves dance in the Caribbean Sea,
and where dust from the iconics were left on Abbey Road.

A thousand tastes to let linger,
of which honeybees made,
meat bursting with sapid ginger,
and velvety cupcakes I wouldn’t be too happy to fork through.

A thousand thoughts to write,
of what-if love stories,
silvering the mundane and the trite,
just stroking out the heart pulses on pads or paper.

A thousand reasons to skip sleep,
for the world is simply brimming
and start ups keep being nipped.
Oh, how sweet it would be if we could just do more.

*Written for the Magpie Tales

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for Magpie Tales, Writing

A Whiff of Vicissitude

Waking, Walking, Singing, in the Next Dimension? 1979 by Morris Graves

Frail and obedient,

that used to be me.

Silent, unquestioning,

always following.

But, when I took a sip

of the nectar dew on

one green stalk

that afternoon.

My little wings sliced the air,

my beak glistened against the sunset’s last rays.

I flew higher, faster.

Unrestricted.

Emotions bred actions

that I desire.

I turned selfish,

yet still frail.

Dazzling,

dainty.

I became,

with you.

*Written for the Magpie Tales

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Journal Entry Excerpts, Writing

I suddenly miss writing so much. So, let me heal myself for a moment here. I ache about not being able to go home at dusk for a long time. The magic of meeting the sunset when I hop off the bus would be temporarily gone again. Now, when I skip along the street across the villa that I’m in, only Mother moon and her little stars greet me. Not that I loathe the scene. I absolutely love the moon that I am convinced I am her daughter at one point of my life. It’s just that by the time that I step on the welcome mat on our front door, there’s just little time to spend for writing, blogging, reading and my lovely man. And the rainy days are coming. Raindrops at dusk are best. And when they happen, I’d wanted to be in my bedroom.

This Ache Inside of Me

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